Toaster Chicken. Deliciousness.

What the HELLO is toaster chicken?!?!

I found this box of weirdness at the grocery store one day

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(yeah, seriously)

Krispy Toast is some sort of partially-for-real chicken product that's pre-somewhat-cooked and heated up in your TOASTER. The instructions are fantastic! If you're taking one straight from the freezer? Toast for two turns on high in your toaster. If you've tucked it in the fridge in the office kitchen for the morning? One pop in the toaster on high should do the trick!

Just like poptarts are wrapped in single servings, so are the square chickens.

Mmmmmm deliciousness.

Ok, so let me back up a moment. This appears to NOT be the typical 'food blog post' of supreme recipe superiority and creative culinary skillz.(you all know I've got 'em).... but looks are deceiving. What I have not yet told you -is that I opted for the fancier BARBEQUE flavor. This is NOT your gramma's toaster chicken. (original would have bored you all silly!)

Being a famous food blogger is hard work (and a lot of pressure) - but I am ever up for a challenge, so I took the show on the road. Laying it all out on the table, I prepared a delicious Jenn-meal at WORK - in the kitchen - where people could witness and marvel the masterpiece. Being the gracious and humble chef that I am, I answered all of the questions from my fans and not once did I wish to hold up my hand and twart them off! (I am THAT awesome)

So here's where we begin:

Miracle Whip (because they encourage you to hate it if you must and I was feeling BRAVE and craving that ZIPPY ZING thing they claim). Wonder Bread, because if you're going to cook almost-real-food in a TOASTER, you should have other child-like components to the meal in keeping with the authenticity of the flavor you're trying to pull off. And of course, the square chicken-stuff.

**Adding fancy slices of cheese, or even green things like lettuce is also encouraged, but artistically it only made sense to focus more on the geometric-chicken-thing and not steal the focus from the real star.

Open faced square chicken burger things, display the beauty of the nearly-naked chicken. Sure, you could top it with another slice of wondrbread, but then you wouldn't be able to behold the beauty of all that this lunch represents. (Of course, you'd need more than a four slice toaster to pull off two burgers at a time, too!) Perhaps one of the most enjoyable parts of this quick lunch time meal, was the co-worker who offered to TRADE me her HOMEMADE chili for my processed mystery lunch! 

Now, who's going to rush out and try this 'recipe' ??? Anyone?

Chickenshit.

Cheese-peas-noodle-ease - A St Patrick's Day Marvel

Ok, so there's REALLY nothing Irish about this dish, but my teenage drama-filled-days enjoyed this tasty concoction ... and peas are GREEN... and my shirt is GREEN .... so this makes it perfect for March 17th. 

Cheese-peas-noodle-ease was something I tossed together after school for friends. You could say it was my first masterpiece. *chokes on laughter*

The nostalgic version is simpler than this grown up rendition and didn't contain bacon or onion and I used boring old mozzarella cheese. You can make it however you please, but this is what I call cheese-peas-noodle-ease.*drumroll please*

Ewww.. you're drooling! *squeegees off the blog and carries on*

This is what I used

• egg noodles
• frozen pas
• shredded monterey jack cheese
• shredded aged white chedder
• small white onion
• thick cut bacon
• milk
• butter
• salt & pepper

The cheese, peas and noodle part should be somewhat self explanatory - but the EASE part is this: You cook the peas and noodles together! (I thought that was SO genius!)

Chuck your bacon in the frying pan, fry up the onions - you can even do THAT together if you want - I won't stop you! And set the greasy goodness aside. I didn't say there was anything HEALTHY about this dish! Have you MET me? 

I like to toss the pasta into the pot a couple of minutes before the peas of course, they don't exactly have identical cook times!

Once cooked, strain the peas and noodles and drop back into the pot. Follow with shredded cheese, a touch of butter & milk to help keep the cheese from glooping (I made that word up. It's my blog, back off!). Stir until mixed somewhat fairly and toss in the pig and onion. Top with a bit of salt & pepper to taste - even parmesan cheese if you'd like. 

The end result is tasty and it was simple. 

The hardest part is remembering what to call it. 

If you call it noodle-caboodle, 

it's practically a crime and you might sleep in the snowbank. 

I don't know how it tastes with beer, but have a happy St Pat's day regardless! ENJOY!

Dump cake!!

If you have never had Dump Cake, it's quite possible you don't WANT to because of the name. But remember that age old adage of never judging a book by a cover, and don't let a silly name stand between you and the dessert with calories too high to worry about.

The term DUMP here is all about what to do with the ingredients.... not at all with where the ingredients came from. Feel better? Good!

So then... let's gather the crap stuff we're going to dump into our 9x9 square baking dish. (I totally had to get out my Papa's tape measure just now for all of you 'serious about measurements and amounts' types). I'm using a Pampered Chef stoneware baker that I've had since I was 19 and makes me feel more credible as a gourmet. *goofy grin*

You're going to need a boxed white cake mix, a can of crushed pineapple (I've used sliced in a pinch), a package of coconut, 1/2 cup of butter and a can of fruit pie filling. Traditionally dump cake makers use cherry, but I am not a fan so my choice is usually raspberry.

Before we get into the hard work, preheat your oven to 425








NOW the fun begins! DUMPing the ingredients! Different recipes have layered these goodies in a variety of ways, but I like the results from my order best of all.

First, DUMP the crushed pineapple into your baking dish 

Spread it out evenly. The juice is IMPORTANT! 

Next, DUMP the white cake mix and spread it evenly too!

The trickiest part of this whole 2 minute operation, is spreading the pie filling over top of the white powder. I recommend plopping clumps of the fruit goop all over to make the spreading work out better.

DUMP your package of coconut and spread and then cube up or chop up your butter to finish off the masterpiece. Toss your dump cake in the oven when it's preheated and cook for 35 minutes. Use this time to paint your nails, have a shower or watch an episode of Family Guy that you PVRd three years ago.                                                                                                                                                      

The pie filling and pineapple especially will be very hot when you remove from the oven. In fact, there may be sizzling screams coming from the buttery, browned coconut so do not serve immediately unless tongue burns are a personal favorite. When it's cooled enough to eat, scoop it out and serve! (this will not cut into squares like traditional cake, so don't be worried.. you didn't 'do it wrong') Also delicious when served warm with vanilla ice cream!

Love & Cupcakes,

Jenn

ps - please forgive the cell phone quality pictures... my camera battery was dead!

Cherry pop!

My food blog cherry has just been popped.

WARNING:  I only recently discovered a zest for trying new things and for cooking. Period. I can't say that I only discovered FOOD because I've always loved food - just the same three or four unhealthy staples that required little to no cooking. Therefore, don't expect Martha Stewart. DO expect to be entertained.

(this is one of my creations - using Paint of all things)

I'm trying new recipes.. Wait, who am I kidding.. I'm trying RECIPES... *and* I'm putting foods in my mouth I was once afraid of. (I am still terrified of olives FYI). Through this time suck blog, I plan to document a few of my favorites thus far, a few adventures in cooking ahead, and a bit about the silly food experiences I have had thanks to fabulous people in my life. 

Now.. Off to coffee with a few lady friends. Later.. I share my favorite 'take-it-everywhere-dessert' - DUMP CAKE!