I found this box of weirdness at the grocery store one day
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(yeah, seriously)
Krispy Toast is some sort of partially-for-real chicken product that's pre-somewhat-cooked and heated up in your TOASTER. The instructions are fantastic! If you're taking one straight from the freezer? Toast for two turns on high in your toaster. If you've tucked it in the fridge in the office kitchen for the morning? One pop in the toaster on high should do the trick!
Just like poptarts are wrapped in single servings, so are the square chickens.
Mmmmmm deliciousness.
Ok, so let me back up a moment. This appears to NOT be the typical 'food blog post' of supreme recipe superiority and creative culinary skillz.(you all know I've got 'em).... but looks are deceiving. What I have not yet told you -is that I opted for the fancier BARBEQUE flavor. This is NOT your gramma's toaster chicken. (original would have bored you all silly!)
Being a famous food blogger is hard work (and a lot of pressure) - but I am ever up for a challenge, so I took the show on the road. Laying it all out on the table, I prepared a delicious Jenn-meal at WORK - in the kitchen - where people could witness and marvel the masterpiece. Being the gracious and humble chef that I am, I answered all of the questions from my fans and not once did I wish to hold up my hand and twart them off! (I am THAT awesome)
So here's where we begin:
Miracle Whip (because they encourage you to hate it if you must and I was feeling BRAVE and craving that ZIPPY ZING thing they claim). Wonder Bread, because if you're going to cook almost-real-food in a TOASTER, you should have other child-like components to the meal in keeping with the authenticity of the flavor you're trying to pull off. And of course, the square chicken-stuff.
**Adding fancy slices of cheese, or even green things like lettuce is also encouraged, but artistically it only made sense to focus more on the geometric-chicken-thing and not steal the focus from the real star.
Open faced square chicken burger things, display the beauty of the nearly-naked chicken. Sure, you could top it with another slice of wondrbread, but then you wouldn't be able to behold the beauty of all that this lunch represents. (Of course, you'd need more than a four slice toaster to pull off two burgers at a time, too!) Perhaps one of the most enjoyable parts of this quick lunch time meal, was the co-worker who offered to TRADE me her HOMEMADE chili for my processed mystery lunch!
Now, who's going to rush out and try this 'recipe' ??? Anyone?
Chickenshit.






Hahaha! I don't think toaster chicken is for me, but I enjoyed this post anyway. You're an excellent writer, Jenn!
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine biting into that when it was still cold in the middle :( blah
ReplyDeleteLOL!! Best ending to a post - EVAR! (I don't think we have those chickeny things here in the U.S. but I am tempted to try one should I stay in Canada for more than a day)
ReplyDeleteI saw these tasty treats in person with the cheez-whiz as opposed to Miracle Whip. It was both intriguing and scary to see chicken in square form. Hilarious post! =)
ReplyDelete*snickers* Cheez-whiz was supposed to be our little secret!!
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